Writing anything lately has been a serious struggle. I barely leave the house. I don’t want to join in group activities at all. I also don’t want to write, or blog, or do anything.
For the past few months, most things I’ve set to do flopped, or things turned worse. It got to the point I don’t even want to try for fear of making things worse for me. But not doing anything also leaves me with nothing.
I wish there was a pill you take and WHAMMO- no more despair threatening to swallow you whole. But no, anti-depressants take weeks to take effect. Side effects might include weight gain. Frankly, I never felt happy on them anyway. They didn’t seem to help at all.
So I’m left with trying to figure out a resolution to my conflict. No easy task. Unlike a character in a book, I don’t have a guide or the character that helps the protagonist along. I also have the realization that there’s no deux ex machinima to pull me out of the fire should I make mistakes.
<sighs> Why can’t life be more like a video game where your actions at least provide experience points that leads to buff ups?